Song of the Day

The Kooks - Seaside

but i'm just trying to love you
any kind of way,
but i find it hard to love you, girl
when you're far away

Everything

There are many things to be thankful for.

I'm thankful to be able to spend some time in a place where I can step outside and be swept up in welcomed chaos for as long as I want. I'm thankful for the reflection of the sunshine on the Thames, the choppy waves splashing against the age-old bricks that carve a watery path through the heart of London. I'm thankful for the greenery that should seem out of place in such a grey, metallic city but finds its home in tiny, undiscovered nooks regardless. I'm thankful for the tiredness that consumes me after a day of walking, the fatigue in my bones acting as a sign that something is wearing on me in a good way.

I'm thankful for the people that I've come to love as family; the ones who treat me like their own, who lend me a hand and allowed me to infiltrate their lives for a short time. I'm thankful for those waiting back home with open arms, soon to be reunited after weeks of not being able to see the whites of their eyes and hear the laughs as they form. I'm thankful for the man at the register who spares me a smile on a dreary, rainy day. I'm thankful for the girl spending time in the park with herself and the words in a book, painting images in her mind with every turn of a page.

I'm thankful for the muddied boots and the frizzy hair, for the full stomachs and the heavy, drooping eyelids. I'm thankful for the delayed trains and the lonely passengers; I'm thankful for the second row from the stairs on the top deck of the bus, the seat right next to the window. I'm thankful for Polly's Tea Room. I'm thankful for all the Earl Grey's on Thursday mornings on Southwark Street. I'm thankful for the two missed chances and the heartache that followed. I'm thankful for the stay, stay, stay and the go, go, go.

I am thankful. For everything, for all of it. I am unequivocally grateful.

x

Song of the Day

Hozier - Jackie and Wilson

every version of me dead and buried in the yard outside,
sit back and watch the world go by

Song of the Day

AURORA - Runaway

and i was running far away
would i run off the wall someday?
nobody knows, nobody knows

Closing Time

Less than a month separates me and Terminal Four.

I don't really know how I'm feeling.

There's a part of me that absolutely thrilled to be going home. I'm ready for the bitter winter that North Carolina always delivers; I'm ready for the inevitable running hugs that my family will receive from me; I'm ready for my bed, my comforter, my pillow, my familiarity that I've missed over the last two months.

Sleep isn't really something that concerns me anymore, so I've found that losing myself in reading and writing and running along the rainy pavement of the Southbank is a better way for me to pretend I'm not a live zombie. Most of the time it's just me going through the motions - wake up (or just get out of bed, sleepless), go to class, hop on a random bus and find a cheap cafe to eat lunch in, and then go home. My schoolwork is just a steady stream of essays that seems to grow more and more intimidating the longer I put them off.

(Which is what I'm doing right now.)

That being said, I still can't bring myself to be excited to be leaving this city. I've seen things that I know I'll never be able to experience again in my lifetime. These last few months and everything I've seen and heard and felt have kind of solidified my hope to relocate here, either temporarily or permanently. In this lifetime, I want to call this place my home. In this lifetime, I want to feel homesick for this place.

ak

Song of the Day

The Black Keys - Little Black Submarines

treasure maps, fallen trees
operator, please
call me back when it's time

Song of the Day

Pink Floyd - Hey You

hey you, out there on the road

always doing what you're told,

can you help me?

Song of the Day

Neil Young - Down by the River

you take my hand,
i'll take your hand,
together we may get away

Song of the Day

Led Zeppelin - Achilles' Last Stand

it was an April morning when they told us we should go,
and as i turned to you, you smiled at me
how could we say no?

11.09.15

Song of the Day

Fleetwood Mac - The Chain

i can still hear you saying
you would never break the chain

What A Feeling

Been a while.

I'd say that I had a valid excuse for not posting anything, but I really don't. I hope this can make up for it.

Reading Week came and went. I ended up taking one more day trip to Oxford, which was equally as lovely as Dover. The city itself is pretty much comprised of a bustling center filled with university students and tourists. The University of Oxford (also known as my dream school once upon a time when I thought I could make a career out of English literature) is spread out over the city limits, each college having its own building. Additionally, there's the Radcliffe Camera and Bodleian Library, the latter of which houses the Divinity School (think the Infirmary from the Harry Potter films).

The Radcliffe Camera

I was sufficiently geeking out all day.

After lunch a little cafe (which was a pizza bagel) I continued along and went to Christchurch Meadows. It had that timeless feel to it; the history of the city practically radiated through the gravel path. A quaint river ran parallel to the walkway with athletic fields on the other side. It was clear that the city had created a home from the meadow, fully integrated into people's lives as easily as a morning commute to work. I didn't have time to go to the church itself, but the glimpses of the courtyard I caught as I passed the gates showed it's definitely worth a trip.

Christchurch Meadows

These day trips got me through the week but now that classes have started back up again, I'm feeling that itch to get home again. Not that I'm ready to leave London; I'm just at that point where I'm becoming comfortable with the idea that I've had fun and I still have so much to do and see, but I'm happy with the fact that I'll be home soon. The connection that I've developed with this city is unreal; I know that when I come back in the future it'll be like coming home again. But for now, I think I'm okay with cruising through this last month with the assured promise that I'll be back home in no time.